Historic Style Secrets

Aristotle and Plato

As WWP is an unashamed Greekophile, Mythology nerd and now student of ancient philosophy, it seemed like a good time to discuss the merits of ancient Greek menswear.  Never in history has there been clothing so androgynous yet so flattering, and also so practical.  Athenians of today do not dress for their climate; women totter round in skin tight jeans, kitten heels and black Missoni t-shirts and men, ancestors of democracy, favour the low-slung chino and overly open-buttoned shirt.  Comparison to the fresco above is futile.

Plato and Aristotle were two very similar men with different ideas.  Born into a time when sexual urges could be overcome by the pleasure of the mind, philosophers lived together in schools in order to understand nearly everything.  Plato quite fancied the idea of a society segregated by talent; a Republic as Utopian as it gets which falls short at the killing babies part.  Aristotle took a slightly more reasonable approach that was big on natural virtue ethics and one that assumes man needs politics to live a fulfilled life.  Quite the way to keep yourself in business boy. 

In this painting, Plato (the one pointing at the sky or flicking the middle finger at the guy on left) has pioneered colour blocking, the three-quarter length sleeve and the neckerchief.  Aristotle has gone for an ethereal embroidery and khaki to highlight his olive skin tones.  So something clearly went wrong in the middle ages when it came to fashion.  And hygiene.  And overall well-being when it comes down to it.  The Greeks seemed to have it all, only for the world to flush it away with the pig slop.  Not so surprisingly Grecian inspired style is still one of the most flattering that there is - skimming and clinching where it needs to - and one that no doubt will stick around for a while at least. As far as I know, Stella McCartney doesn't have Joan of Arc-inspired collection in the pipeline. 

Kill-Joy of the Month

Barack O-boring

It would be true to say that most inhabitants of Western society had high hopes for Obama, give or take a few Republicans, KKK members and the like.  And women everywhere were surely swooning at the sight of a president that was oh so easy on the eye and not in a pathetic silver fox kind of way.  But for a politician so cutting edge in many ways - one that actually inhales his marijuana  - why the decision of 'breaking with' one of the very, very few fun diplomatic traditions?

The APEC summit has been famous for leaders of nations dressing up in the host country's traditional dress.  This has provided photos dripping with comedy gold (my personal favourite: George Bush in a poncho) and yet this year, on an island synonymous with clothing, there won't be a Hawaiian shirt in sight.  Obama may quite rightly be following the number one quirk's rule of fashion - to dress how you feel.  If an economic corporation were to follow this to the letter I can imagine even mourning suits wouldn't cut it and orange jumpsuits would be shipped in from Guantanemo.  Or maybe the decision is for his own self-preservation: no longer the cocky young new boy but the serious incumbant that has an electoral campaign to run.  And win.

Perhaps on a more trivial note, the situation begs the question of 'what if it had been any other state of America?'  Cowboy hats and Levis in Texas?  Abercrombie and Fitch in California?  Carrie's Sex and the City main-sequence tutu in New York?  America just does not appear to have a cohesive traditional dress.  Perhaps if they were to design one they could incorporate a McDonalds uniform into it somehow.  Or a bumbag.  But that's for another blog post.

Tie-watch

The Next President?

Rick Perry screams George W Bush: governor of Texas, a worn-out and well used attractiveness and, going by his mortifying faux-pas at the Republican debate on Thursday, a little bit of an idiot.  Right now the blogosphere is salivating with the rumours that he's gay (caught by the wife, hushed her up with money, now sleeping with a male chef of all people), however WWP have little interest in that.  I'm interested in his tie choices.


Perry clearly loves the red tie.  It all at once reinforces the fact he's a Republican (the hair gave that one away anyway) and he's a man that would easily fight, skewer and barbeque a bull on his Texan ranch.  In other words, the tie is demanding that we all notice him, vote for him, as he is man.  The poor bloke up without indoor plumbing for his first five years, he knows how cruel life can be.  Dishearteningly, the first photo on his website is of him wearing a blue tie, but as you venture on in, all the rest are red.  Thank God.


His policies are slightly utopian, and 'pro-America' pops up quite a bit. He names himself 'Champion of Conservative Principles.' Whilst we'd all like to think that voters learn from their mistakes, the amount of media focus on Rick and The Red Tie gives off a slightly worrying premonition that this man could be Mr. Republican Candidate 2012. And if so, we'd all welcome another year of southern Americana, aging good looks, and red tie agendas.

Oh, Lolita!

Dakota and Marc

Marc Jacobs runs some of the best ad campaigns in the business.  Something about the pictures screams amateur; they're aloof, saturated, they're fun.  I confess the only films I've seen Dakota Fanning in are War of the Worlds and Man on Fire (she spends 80% of the script screaming in both) but, judging by her red carpet choices and coyness, she seems fun too.  The problem with this is advert, is it's just too darn fun for the UK.

The UK Standards Advertising Agency has pulled the campaign as it is too "suggestive."  It seems that the UK Standards Advertising Agency has missed the point.  Lola - a handwriting slip away from Lolita - suggests a provocative 14 year old, who's crazy and manipulative and sexual.  A flower in full bloom between her legs is genius; imagine Marc Jacobs, a raging queen, giggling at the suggestion that 'Dakota should just go for it honey, look like you're just BALANCING it there, oh my gosh, it's hilarious, it's perfect!'  And Dakota, who is 17 I might add, would laugh along.

I had held worse things between my thighs when I was 17.  Poor Dakota (who's real name is Hannah out of interest, and wasn't born in Dakota, north or south) probably has too.  It's a sad fact that our regulatory bodies have to jump to pedophilia when fashion is simply mirroring Russian literature.  It's not Dakota Fanning's fault she's so skinny.  Bitch.

Style Icon

Yulia Tymoshenko

I truly cannot fathom how she pulls off looking like a goat-herder so well.  In fact it's more than a goat-herder, it's an uncooked sausage plait encircling her head.  It may be said that this photo is not entirely representative, I'm pretty sure she doesn't hang with Hell's Angels in her lunchbreaks.  More to the point, I haven't come across another picture of her wearing leather.  But who cares, she looks like a desperate Claudia Schiffer and that can only be a good thing for anyone.


Yulia Tymoshenko does not hang with bikers on her lunchbreaks because Yulia Tymoshenko is in jail.  A gas deal with Russia that was crippled by corruption and corporation led to her final sentencing of 7 years at the beginning of October.  It seems this very much opened a can of Ukrainian worms, with ignored cases of embezzlement, tax fraud and the like being re-examined, particularly by the EU who are now keeping a close eye on the Ukraine's democratic procedures. Russia is, of course, perplexed; poor old Putin just 'couldn't understand why.'  


In any case, Tymoshenko will hopefully keep up that stupid hairstyle and gorgeous face whilst in prison, yet I hear Nordic blondes find it difficult to wear orange.  The new Prime Minister, Mykola Azarov, is distinctively an average looking bloke with bad eyebrows and bad suits.  So the hunt for the Next Hot Scandinavian Politician continues.